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[28 Jul 2004|12:21pm] |
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I sit here w/ so much to say and no sure way to say it all.Alot has obviously happened.I can't really write it in enough detail for any of it to make much sense so I think why bother.I'm still hanging out w/ josh but he had to go back to his dad's today to go to a doctor app...mer...I'm suppossed to help my aunt aunie move inot her new townhouse near us in meadow point....man that place is really huge!!!O.O but im not sure if were going to like we were supossed to today..My mom stayed w/ her all yesterday and helpled and we came for a lil bit though and helped out on some small stuff ,like putting the lamps and stuff together.I wish i were hanging out w/ friends right now.I miss both julies..I want our good conversations and shrimp's tiny hugs...I was supossed to go over there but no...me and my dad were having "difficulties" so yeah i didn;t even ask cuz i already knew the answer.I miss Kenny..he hasn't called too much lately but he's probably at band camp and such.I miss daylina's hugs, unipue style and perdy smile.Ness's stockings (lol)and see'in her new drawings.I miss steph and the feeling i get being so comfortable w/ her becasue we're family and have common humor.I miss Alix and her orange converses and witty inteligent writing.I miss cher and her sweetness, she always is so cute. I miss Sean's crystal blue eyes and conversations on the back of our old bus. I miss David (kronkers!) and his pure innocence, kindness,and the way he always came to me for advice so dependent.I miss Joey ,Lacey, and karyn from my math class we never got anyhting done in becasue we culd never shut up. I miss playing guitar at lunch w/ William.I miss almost every girl in my chorus class and the bonds we had. I miss Priscilla, Dixie and Brittany and laughing together in art over our mistakes and arguing who's looks the worse. I miss jenny and stealing half of her sandwhich at lunch and our garlic salt inside joke. I miss Andy and his funny high pitched laugh, Chris's fro and sound effects, John's fake charm,Brian's goffyness. I could go on and on.I've though on all of this way to much...because this summer i;ve had an enormous amount of time to think on alot of things and not just what i miss.I've changed so much and i know i'll probably never see some of those people ever again,Never hug some of those people again ,never laugh w/ some of those people ever again.But although it's hard to except i think i can except that. A new year is a new beginning and i have to make outta what i have the best i can.and that's just it.When i begun i had no purpose of writing somehting like this but i did...and it;s relieveing somehow.well heartness and god bless you wonderful peeps
Hill
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[26 Jul 2004|01:00pm] |
hey peeps
thing are going alrighty..no ones reading ym lj anymore thats okies...i decided to put a poem on here i wrote when i was having a difficult time w/ my dad.We tend to fight alot.but anywayz.
TEARS OF DADDY'S GIRL
(to a daddy of another planet with love)
The image of my tears reflect in the shine of the guitar
The reason for them momentarily blurry then so utterly clear
Each drips down to a word once said.
Slipping down the curves of my cheek
All your thoughtless comments.
I'm not hard at heart
Nor hard of hearing to your yelling.
I'm not "just being a teenager"
and your words scrap me.
I try to do right
yet I feel you always see it wrong
all so wrong.
Do we not wake to the same world
and srtive to oversome our imperfections
just like everyone else?
You should be the one I come to when
im confused but it is you who causes my confusion.
What is it I misunderstand?
It is you who has constant command
what happens when i disagree with a demand
who ends up the better man?
What is it i don't understand?
I know you just wants what's "best"
can I really pass life's tests?
I beg for a time when i am no longer the pset
when we can just settle ,give it a rest.
okies well herat you'll and god bless
Hill^_^
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[23 Jul 2004|03:55pm] |
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hey well lopts has happened but i really dun ahve time to explain it all.Met two new guys in my neighborhood...they're alright.names are Chris and josh...and thats all im really gonna say today. heartness and god bless peeps^_^;;.....Dis reguard the link im posting in here it's for me to have a shortcut to the image hosting site.
http://ripway.com/
Hill
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[20 Jul 2004|09:51pm] |
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Brand new-sic transit gloria glory fades |
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ahhhhhh!!! yippy! I met somone at the park!!!woot!I actually met another human being to talk to! his names Josh and he's seems uber nice ^_^ he's only 15 but older than me cuz his b-day's december.YAYAYAY!Ok im done being happy hehe....im not sure bout this whole thing but im atleast im happy to have met someone even if he ends up being some friend..thats cool w/ me.He's unfortunately only here for the summer living w/ his mom and working for his step dad on some lawn service business he has.well anyway that was pretty much the only evetful thing that happened today...my lil sis racha nd are are having disagreements and my family is still making fun of my weight mostly my father and rach but yeah anywayz....thats enough for now
heart ya'll and god bless
Hill^.^
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| MEEEEEEEERRRRRRR |
[19 Jul 2004|08:11pm] |
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Finch!!! |
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.....................I'M SO SICK OF THINGS .aaaahhhhh!!! I can't wait till school starts and i won;t have to be aournd this house facing this crap all day.My family keeps annoying me about my weight and constantly making jokes bout how im stick girl , anorexic chick,too skiny...blah blah blah.And they've taken the time to notice NOW! geez i mean i dun think im fat or anything im NORMAL weight and i haven't gone under 120lbs since awhile ago and im back to normal weight now*sigh* grrrrr. They won;t leave me alone....i know they care but i mean im eating...what more do they want...im not losing weight and im eating...they won't stop bothering me bout it...*whines*Gosh they have no idea....and to top it all off my dad and me keep fighting....over stupid stuff and i swear im not trying to have an attitude w/ him..but he never lets me say anything to defend myself.NEVER!!!Now how it that fair if two people have a mistunderstanding and one of them has no say in defending themself.GRRR!!!*sigh* anywayz...today has been aggrivating i suppose . But i guess not too bad. I'll survive.ok well ...other then that i think im going to get to go school shopping thursday!! yay new stuff makes me feel better!!!hehe
ok well g2g heart you'll
and god bless
Hill
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[16 Jul 2004|10:53pm] |
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Yellow card View from heaven and Dashboard Confessional |
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ok so i dun have alot of time my comp is being a jerk...stupid aol won't let me log onto any of my journals and im not even aloud ont his internet explorer cuz it's not protected from virus and shit like that but anyways things have been alright glad i got to see cher and i made alot of pretty pics for her...she so cute and i also edited a bunch more^_^.I got my braces tightened to day and they hurt> I also got to go to chilis!! yummy food! we even got yummy desert to share(me my sis and mom).ok well thats it...my dad might be comin home soon.imma gonna try and post a new writing on xanga^_^
ARGH i have SO much more to say.Oh! yay! julie cam back from NC and i got to talk to kenny on the phone again! hehe ok enough already lol
heart you'll SO much
god bless
Hill
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[11 Jul 2004|03:58am] |
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HIM |
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things are quite dandy...mostly..At cher's house and we made ..some erm,...interesting...treats. We decided they shall be called Chocolate Peanut Butter Shit Corn Cookies. They were very tasty too ^_^.um, yesh and i was attacked by the ..the...PURPLE MITTEN!!!O_O. Gosh darn molesting inanimate objects..hehe. My tummy wants to strangle me...it's not feeling to well after all those sweets i ate during the veiwing of my Big Fat Greek Wedding.I also was aided in the wonderous attempt to redo my xanga and lj..isn't it all spiffy??Well im doing okies and the night is already almost gone..we sit here w/ food colored hands and full tummies i say it's all good...until next write..and THEN..maybe i shall share the sacred cookie recipe w/ you...or not ..muwhahahah
heartness and god bless
^.^
</f>
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| uhhhhhhhhhhhh........hi?*pokes you w/ stick* |
[09 Jul 2004|10:54pm] |
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autumn to ashes:chloroform perfume |
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yesh.....so today's, what?, the 9th of july ..WooHoo! only 1 month exactly till I can go back to school!!!!!*dances* I won't have to be lonely ..yay!..nothing that much occured today.Went swimming for over 3 hours w/ my two sisters and saw a few interesting people ,got a bit of a tan..but had no convo w/ any of them.Got to go to target w/ my dad and get cookie dough icecream and Digorno pizza and some pencils becasue i had nothing to draw w/. Then i came home baked the pizza for us and ate some icecream..and lets just say afterwards my tummy wasn't agreeing w/ me all too much. I got to talk to Kenny yesterday on the phone and catch up..it was nice to hear from him.I've been feeling a bit odd lately..emotional hoplah..i swear..grr. anyway...that's it..nothing more nothing less. Hoping to go to cher's tomm and hang out ..should be dandy
heartness and god bless peeps
Hill^,^
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| Woot! |
[06 Jul 2004|08:18pm] |
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Brand new |
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Things are going ok.Got to see steph and a few other familiar faces like Chris and John.We hung out and played vidoe games and ate pizza.^_^..but now im back home and today pretty much been chatting a bit online,which i enjoyed,I tryed fixing my xanga thing ma jig but w/e.Then I went rollerblading for a bit then went swimming w/ my sisters and did 20 laps.Woot!I'm tired*yawn*...heart you all
call or post^_^
Hill
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| *yawn*...Life is screwy..unpredictable is what it tis... |
[05 Jul 2004|01:03am] |
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fireworks mask the silence |
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So i got to hang out w/ Steph today on this fine 4th of july holiday. It turned out pretty good. We did fireworks and almost set the neighbor's palm tree on fire...hehe and me and steph secretely devoured mosta the chocolate oreo cake...It left my stomach hurting but it sure was good lol.I was so ready to tie her to my bedpost and not let her leave becasue i was so relieved to finally be hanging out w/ someone since summers been a bit lonely.lol.We played some DDR on the PS2 went down to the park and mostly just hung round and talked for a good while.Oh, and I found out that i extremely suck at DDR...but it's kickass to play and rather addicting lol, fun when your bored.Cherie's finally back! yay...hope i get to hang w/ her soon to catch up.Oh! and last night my dad took me steph and my two sisters to see spiderman 2 ...which kicked butt.the only part i founf corny was the part where they like are in the railway car and lifting spiderman and passing him along like it's some creepingly silent rock concert for the and he's the star jumpoing into the sea of fans. that part was just plain corny they used to many words instead of just letting the body language and actions of the poeple do the talking. But o wells it was still awesome....yesh...well i read something today that really upset me and thats all im really gonna say becasue to explain it would be to complicated.I sit right now typing in stephs room...yesh i snuck into her bag and she wisked me away to her home and kidnaped me so i could be happy and hang w/ her for one more day^_^...ok ...so i asked my dad a nd suckered him into letting me go home w/ her but still ^.^. well i believe thats enough...wish i had a poem or somethign to post but i seem to be w/out my notebook so another time anotther write.heartness and god bless
*Hill*
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| ahhh*falls off wally board*ouchie-_-;; |
[03 Jul 2004|09:34pm] |
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silence and fireworks going off |
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so..yesh im sitting here pretty much bored.Steph came over but she fell asleep while we were watching "Drunken Master", this old Jackie Chan movie.Im glad she got to come over .We went swimming earlier and play round a bit on the wally board..i'm probably gonna wake her in a bit so the night won't get wasted.People are already doing fireworks outside and it's not even 4th of july.my head hurts,but then again it always seems to hurt nowadays.Well thats pretty much today's adventure...I really want to see spiderman 2 lol.I know that was a bit random but yesh...ermm thats probably it ,not much in the mood for writing today. heartness and god bless
Hill
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| *knocks on comp screen "ello?"* |
[02 Jul 2004|04:38pm] |
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Finch- w/out you here |
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So decided to just post one of my fav songs from Finch although i love them all really.they're Awesome!!!^_^I'm tired not feeling well been listenignt o a buncha music today mostly Finch, Brand New, and a few others..good stuffers...did a buncha excersize today,swimming ,rollerblading,sit-ups...and my head is STILL pounding and when i put my head against the pillow i feel like my heart is pulsating through my ears , but i'll survive...and im enjoying the rain it's so plesant and calming to me.well heart ya'll. Oh and Heath i will try to draw you a lion sometime..i can't promise perfection but i'll atleast try ^.^;;. until next write....
Hill
Finch
Three Simple Words
open up my eyes
flooded with delight
another sleepless night turns color black and white
with all the things I've said there is just regret
the beating in my head.
hand into a fist
static in my head
now I'm sitting face to face with loneliness
what did I expect
did I sleep forever and go
CHORUS
I never wanted to hurt more then It should
I hope your satisfied
I never could
time to close my eyes and forget about this mess
tire to fix this tragic lust up in the sense?
but how can i forgoet if i have the time and everything is good
CHORUS
I never wanted to hurt more then It should
I hope your satisfied
I never could
(unknown)
with my hands around ur neek who will stop me now x4
who will stop me now x7
CHORUS
I never wanted to hurt more then It should
I hope your satisfied
I never could
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[01 Jul 2004|10:19pm] |
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Brand New-Sick transic gloria glory fades |
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k well imma gonna try to keep this entrie short (lol yeah right knowing me )...well yesh today i went rollerblading ,got nasty blisters on my heels ,drew at the park,ate some pizza....thats pretty much it. Some dude w/ the s/n 'Eat mor Roaches' keeps talking to me and not saying who it is ...i believe it's my friend seanO.o but...*sigh* w/e. Hoping to post some writings soon.Steph might get to come over this weekend..which we'll be good..i need some social time..im going insane.not really...but yesh...erm...i miss alot of my friends..im a bit lonely an somewhat sick..these stupid headaches ahhhhhh*grabs head*.heartness and god bless
Hill<3
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| meh..*puke* |
[30 Jun 2004|07:10pm] |
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Brand New-the quiet things no one knows |
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I'm not feeling to well today..I wrote some more stuff maybe i'll dig up and post later.Not sure,my computers being weird and it's frustrating me alot..not letting me look at my lj actual page .im only able to look at my friends page and go to the update page..which stinks but o well.My head is pounding .I just got back from a swim and rollerblading while listening to the Brand New cd on my headset..it was calming, took my mind off of my pulsating head for some time and a buncha other things that were crowding my head and thoughts.I'm tired and not getting along w/ my dad to well either.I try, i really do ,to be nice and do the right things to please him but i still feel like no matter what he's always unsatisfied and yelling when he gets home...but i still love him despite it*sigh*. I got to talk to big julie( she'snot really big but ok) today ..she's still in NC. It was nice to talk to her for a bit..i miss her...we have really good convo. I got to see stephs Okekaki which was really good btw i could never draw in hyperpen and such lol.And the friends i've talked to who are going through some tough times your'll in my prayers^.^. well enough.im beginning to even bore myself..comment if ya like.Heart you'll.
Hill
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| hi all your invisible readers!!!*waves* |
[29 Jun 2004|02:16pm] |
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my friends' dad's cd of music^_^ |
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so,i just finished drawing and I typed out another writing of mine. I'm not sure what it is yet..a song perhaps..some weird form of poem. dunno really...i could sit here and tell your all i've been up to latele but it's been pretty much the same and i feel pretty much the same...maybe a little better somehow.Well yesh hope you peeps like this one.
MIND YOU
Lights off .Walls in a haze,just as reality.
Daze with the darkness.
Reflect on distant times....
Fall , fall into your mind
It's the way we Intertwine
Fall, fall into your mind
It's the sense that sends a sign
Fall, fall into your mind
It tickles up your spine
Fall, fall into your mind
It's how we can combine
Fall, fall into your mind
A feeling we must all find
Fall, fall into your mind
here is where you shall confide
Fall, fall into your mind
your body is it's bind
Fall, fall into your mind
to fill the every whine
Fall, fall into this mind
It fears no ones kind
Letting thoughts waver
Washing through as waves
Rippling in a repitition...
P.s. PLEASE POST COMMENTS. they're appreciated much^_^
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[27 Jun 2004|10:40pm] |
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pOSTAL sERVICE |
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ok well.i've decided to post some poems and writings...read them if you like and post what ya think.
UNTITLED
Dolor I never had to miss
still waiting upon the return of one sweet kiss
wounded ,dripping, and bleeding I am
drained...lost in fervor feelings
Pleading to not be impassioned
strained for what must happen
The misery of one such throe plagues me
My affection is but his woe.
With lavished words
I mend the seeping thoughts
begging the untouchable silence
for but somone to be near.
Nights when teary eyes finally are rested
dreams of flaming fear are manifested
crackling sounds
depleating the breath
sufficating ,
burning into ashes,
heartbreak,
and the love that never lasted.
Not So You
We both like black
and think half of our wardrobe being
black is quite dandy
We both like WallyMart
and swear that the plastic Ronald Mcdonald
is only there to be made fun , and that the
electronics department is a must.
We both love our japenese crap
and have spent countless hours begging
for the comic book store, only to find when
we got there that next months issue hadn't arrived yet.
We blamed the evil comic people and swore
it was all some consperacy.
We both laugh at things not funny
and don't mind at all the stares from the
creepy old people who believe were just
some corruption of the world as we laugh
at seemingly nothing.
We both thrive on art
and know that drawing till 6:00am in the morning
is the only way to achieve brilliance .It's good for you...
we swear <,< >.> .only real artists can think half asleep.Right?
And we both definetly have had our share
of men. From Sean,Travis, Spanky,Joey, Preston, and Kenny to
Matt, John, Andy, Adrian, and Chris.We assume
mosta them jerks and pity there sorry butts.Sometimes
we even believe males to be just heartless bastards.But
we love to hate them and hate to love them.
We think of the craziest things
like hamster powered cardboard boxes to save me from Hitler,
world domination schemes involving small furry animals,
our own tv and movie series, hidden conspreracys, and all
the what if's of our short lives.
We both share so much..
But really, I'm not so you.
Your hair is short and dyed
Mines long and highlighted
your eyes deep brown like the
mud we used to play in
mine as green as the grass that
barely grew back afterward.
I love the every part of the
KFC extra crispy wing, while you'd
much rather just eat the crunchy outside.
When it comes to computers
your my master.
When it comes to new friends
I make them a little faster.
You took up the DDR moves while
I grabbed up the guitar.
You raved to the techno
while I strummed to the beatles.
We've had a fair helping of fights
and shared an insane amout of things together
Including time. Sometimes my mind couldn't
but help to conspire against your very existence.
In the conclusion of it all,
I'm that best friend who shares your oppinions and veiws,
comes to you with all her boo hoo's,
who will talk till' you strangle me blue.
So in the end im Not So You.
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| lalalaaaaaaa*falls over and passes out* |
[27 Jun 2004|03:57pm] |
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not sure but it's a good song ^_^ |
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so I got to get REALLY good icecream from BO'S (pronounced like bows)yesterday ,e drove like 25 miles just to get it .I haven't had it in forever from that place.I'ts near my old dance studio and we used to go to it alot when i was little .It was neat to go back and remeber the times before when we had gone there. But yesh .right now im extremely tired...i played round foolishly on my sisters wally mart board and fell(ouchies ^,^;;) one time. But since there aren't two skateboards yet i got sick of standing round half the time and grabbed the rollerblades and skated round the block ten times in a
tank top and jeans and woooweee it was it ever hot. Then i took a cold shower and im still burning up.*fans self* well least i got my excersize and i dun feel so lazy now...erm..well yeah..im doing a bit better i suppose w/ everything...mostly....im still feeling alone...but only half of summer left so...yeah.well post pease
heartness and god bless
Hill
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| Boo |
[26 Jun 2004|05:02pm] |
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infuriated |
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Brand new and Dashboard Confessional |
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so last night i got to have yummy pizza......i felt guilty for eating it though since im like trying to maintain my weight and look better for next year. I wish i could get these damn braces off though...that won't haappen for atleast a few months the orthodontist said*sigh*.after pizza i watched the "The Fighting Temptations" it was one of those feel good all over movies...great gospel and choir music, amazing it what it was.It made me think of wanting to go to church even more than usual.I want to be part of some good youth group...it'd be an easy way to make friends who are good people.It sucks .....today i had cheerios and leftover pizza , did 105 sit-ups,and lil bit of other excersizing...put on my new chucks i got last week and went in the garage w/ my sis to mess round on her Wally Mart (walmart) skateboard. It was quite funny..*big angry sigh*..i was just talking to some people on aim and now im pissed off majorly.some people are so dense to other peoples feelings..i swear it urks me beyond being angry.it upsets me beyond tears.... but yeah.. i dunno....o i just remebered somehting.lil julie i need you to take me off your friends list on lj...i dun want to be on it please. thanx.....Ok *lets out breath*.....so after getting sweaty from the humid air of the garage and having to go inside because of lightning i played my sis's guitar a bit .I'm also re arranging the drawings and posters on my wall .... but erm they're still currently laying in piles on my floor w/ tacs of doom everywhere for people to step on x_o;;.I miss friends.alot. I'm feeling alot like everything i try to do or want to do ends up wrong and i end up cut back down. well...im not in the mood anymore to write. Please post...
Hill
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